Great TV Quotes

There is some great comedy out there right now. Better Off Ted, Modern Family, Glee, and The Big Bang Theory are some of my favorites. Here are a few gems:

Modern Family:

• Manny: In Colombia, they open presents at midnight and stay up til morning.
  Jay: I'm sure they do, but if you notice from the absence of goats in the streets, we're not in Colombia.
• Mitchell: We were called Fire and Nice. I was called "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.

Better Off Ted:

• Veronica: Sorry, Ted. The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die.

• Linda: I don't want to lose this job. What am I supposed to do, go back to Wisconsin and work in the cheese mine? After I made that big speech, threw down my cheese shovel, and stormed out?

• Ted: We can have one conversation with Rose. Gently.
  Veronica: Fine. Let's get her up here, crack her open like a lobster claw, and scoop out her sweet white meat of information. Gently.
  Ted: I know you don't like to eat children, but it's that kind of talk and your cottage in the woods made of candy that keeps those rumors alive.

The Big Bang Theory:

• Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this-- why don't Hindu's eat beef?
  Raj: We believe cows are gods.
  Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
  Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

Glee:

• Sue: I'll often yell at homeless people: "Hey how is that homelessness thing working out for you? Try not being homeless for once!"
• Sue: Not everyone is gonna have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance. But I will not rest until every inch or our fair state is covered in garbage.