Confessions of a Dead Beat Friend

Confession time again. I've been a bad friend, one might say dead beat. I basically have 4 really good girl friends that are constants in my life. Three of these friends I haven't talked to in months and the only reason I have had any contact with the fourth is that her husband calls me so that I can babysit their baby while he takes his wife out. I am a great listener when people have problems and need to talk or not talk. I am horrible however at communicating my needs. I tend to become reclusive and then feel bad when no one contacts me. I also tend to feel guilty about burdening others with my "problems" especially because I often feel that compared to the trials of others, my worries pale in comparison.

I continue to struggle with balance in my life as well and I still haven't figured out how to adjust my priorities so that I am not totally overcome by a single aspect of my life. I never seem to be in the right place with my spirituality, personal life, family life and career all at the same time. My excuse is usually work but after today I no longer have that excuse. (Explanation forth-coming, stay tuned) It makes for a pretty lonely existence. And now that I have had a REALLY awful day (fired) I am too ashamed about being a bad friend to call my friends and let them commiserate. It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break. Putting down roots won't do me any good if I can't nurture and water them. Maybe that's why the cactus in my room is dying.

Trust

Things That Mus Go - Office Edition

The title says it all, this is my list of things that MUST go (but probably won't)

• The mysterious person that turns off the A/C. It's hot everywhere else in the building, if you're cold put a sweater on. It's sad when the temperature upstairs and in the gigantic warehouse is lower than the downstairs offices.
• My computer not working right unless someone from IT is standing there watching me, at which point I can't show them what's wrong.
• The software on my computer that only works sometimes because it was written years ago before Windows XP, 7 and Vista, by someone who doesn't work there anymore. 
• The person who sorts the mail and keeps giving me the mail for the people who work in the building across the street. Still the same company but the name and departments are light years apart.
• Snot rockets. My office is near the bathrooms and with our recent remodel and removal of the carpet in the hallway, sound carries more clearly. At least three times a day someone is in the men's room blowing snot rockets. It echoes, everyone can hear you. Ewww.
• The missing table from the lunchroom. A few weeks ago someone took a table and used it somewhere else, now it's missing. It makes for a cramped lunch hour.
• The unknown person that's stealing my ice. My work doesn't have ice, I bring my own 5 lbs bag. There are certain people I have given permission to use it. It's not expensive. However, the person who keeps tearing open the bag instead of untying it meaning that it doesn't get closed tight and thus the ice ends up tasting of the other things in the freezer. See next item.
• The people who keep bringing whole sides of beef to put in the freezer at work. Really? Were you planning on having a BBQ party after everyone else goes home? Because your side of beef has been there for over a month and it's starting to smell.
• The busybody who is keeping track of my phone calls. Guess what? Just because someone doesn't know my extension, doesn't make it a personal call. Tattling just makes you look stupid, especially when you're wrong.
• The magazines on the tables in the lobby. For some reason there are 15 issues of People and 1 paper that is local to the suburb we are located in. People magazine is for doctor's offices, not the lobby of a business, unless you print the magazine or take the photos of the people inside.

Happy 30th Brunhilda!!

 Nothing says "I Love You" like this face I made when confronted by my newborn sister.

My sister and her beautiful kids. Happy Birthday!!!

Enough Transplanting, I Want Roots!

I'm restless. I figured out the other day that in the past 10 years I have moved 11 times, had 15 roommates (not including when I have lived with family) 3 cars, 12 jobs (sometimes more than one at a time) 5 boyfriends (only one of which lasted longer than 3 months) and have been a member of 7 different single's wards.

At the age of 31 I can honestly say that I crave permanence. I want roots. There comes a time when a daily or weekly routine doesn't sound so awful. At least a routine could maybe help me find some balance. Right now I don't have great balance in my life, but that's another post entirely. I look forward to the day when I can go home to my own place; where I have made the decorating decisions and can leave my shoes by the door. Until then I can dream and save my money so that when the time comes, I can carve out my own little slice of heaven, a heaven with roots.

The Acarophobia Dilemma

I have two favorite seasons, winter and spring. I like wearing sweatshirts and curling up in massive amounts of blankets in the winter, but I also really enjoy the short sleeve and sandal weather of spring. I'm not a hot weather person so I dread the oppressive heat of summer. So far it has been a pretty mild summer and I am totally loving it. However, spring has a disadvantage over winter. It's something that causes me irrational fear and anxiety. Mosquitoes. Such a silly thing to fear, but for some reason that is beyond my recollection I abhor mosquitoes. The very sight of one is likely to sending me running in the opposite direction or screaming like a child in distress and waving my hands frantically around my head. By definition a phobia is an abnormal fear of something that is probably harmless. If by harmless you mean a blood-sucking menace that haunts the pleasant twilight of day. (Incidentally this is why I could never be "Team Edward" despite my personal preference )

My current dilemma is that I now fear a mosquito conspiracy has been enacted upon me. That's right, conspiracy. I have seen but one mosquito so far this spring and after some dancing around and hysterical mewling noises I managed to kill it. And so began the war. I have now woken up to a new mosquito bite somewhere on my body at least twice a week for the past month. Just this morning I have discovered a new one. WHY? I don't kill their kin any more or less than the next person. These sneak attacks are slowly unraveling my delicate psyche. My mother claims it is because I have "sweet blood." The very thought of that tiny insect landing on my skin and taking a part of me while I am unaware makes me shiver in horror. Tomorrow I'm buying one of those new Off! personal mosquito fans that clips to your belt. Be forewarned, I am going to be smelling like insect repellant daily until I can quash the conspiracy and stop the revolution. Vive la Danica!

The Genius that is The Piano Guys

Prepare yourselves for unsolicited advertisement. I have a new obsession. And I don't like using the word obsession because it tends to have be overused and sometimes can have a negative connotation, but in this case the word is accurate.

I ♥ The Piano Guys.

If you haven't heard of them I would suggest you go here to their YouTube page and partake in what will surely absorb you for the next few hours. Go ahead, I'll wait......

Okay, now that you have some idea of who they are I can tell you why I love them so much. I can't even remember how I stumbled upon the first video I saw which was Michael Meets Mozart. But I had some previous knowledge of the pianist, Jon Schmidt, so I knew it would be good. I met Jon Schmidt once back around 1996 when my parent's company was binding his piano books so he could sell them. I had heard his piano music and loved playing it, so it didn't take much for me to gravitate to this video. I will admit I acquired a bit of a crush on Steven Sharp Nelson, the cellist, especially after watching the video "Moonlight." I was thrilled when I found out that he lived in my neighborhood. And even more excited when they covered More Than Words, something that I had suggested in a comment on their videos!

The brilliance of the music these guys are creating is not something that I think I can articulate, but I'm going to try. I have a deep love for music anyway, but I would say that one of the things that keeps me coming back for more of their music is that The Piano Guys obviously love what they are doing. There is a passion for music that bleeds from every note they play. They are able to put so much emotion into the music they play that it makes me want to be a better musician. I want my music to touch people in the way that their music has touched me.

What adds to the beauty of their music is the sweeping views of nature which provide such a fantastic backdrop to already great music. The things the crew does is mind boggling! Simply watch Peponi or the Bourne Vivaldi to see what great lengths these group of men go to to produce exquisite videos.

I have struggled with patience waiting for the next video to appear, anxiously checking YouTube on Mondays for another upload. I believe in what they are doing so much that I am a double donator to the "Founders Club" which has earned me two T-shirts and two CD's. I also purchase the new song from their website every time they release another one. I have to admit that I feel so strongly about this music that I sometimes feel like a hysterical teenager, likely to faint at the mere sight of my idol, only in this case it's NOT Justin Bieber.

Was that enough links for you? Can you see what I used the word obsession?

A Thousand Notes of Comfort

I adore this video and the men that create these videos!