Today

Today I will be happy
Today I will pray
Today I will befriend someone new
Today I will do my best in everything
Today I will read my scriptures
Today I will give thanks for being alive
Today I will be an observer
Today I will be an active participant
Today I will have good posture
Today I will enjoy nature

Today I will have hope

Comfortable Silences

I love sound. Not just music but most sounds. I enjoy just sitting somewhere and listening to my surroundings. I try and pick out sounds and figure out their origin. Of course anything at the wrong decibel or with excessive repetition can be annoying. I used to student teach a choir class full of girls and when they were getting too noisy I used to tell them that silence can be the most beautiful music of all.

I tend to end up as a sounding board for a couple of people and I realized tonight why I love my friend Rose so much. With my other friends (two in particular) I don't get to talk a lot and conversation usually revolves around them. With Rose, she actually lets me talk. And then there are those great times when we can just sit in comfortable silence. So to Rose I dedicate the next few lines and hope that you can enjoy them.













See, wasn't that nice?

The Golden Rule

I continue to struggle to not use my blog to write bitter diatribes about the state of the nation and/or the state of my love life. I have been reflecting and I have decided that the thing that frustrates me most about the men that I know is that because the odds are overwhelmingly in their favor, they treat us like objects. Objects that put up with their crap and will be there when they need them, even if abandoned for a while. I usually convey my disgust and annoyance with cynicism and negativity. I have decided to live The Golden Rule. Instead of doubting and expecting the worst, I am going to try and treat the men in my life as if they are already the men I know they can be. I know it will be difficult, but hopefully I can convince some of my friends to do the same. Maybe if we change our attitude, so will they. Also with this I will strive to act like the person I'm trying to be, instead of the bitter wasted shell of a future cat lady. I'm also going to try and stop worrying about my love life. I may not understand it or like it, but I really can't complain about much else. I have great friends, a nice place to live, a decent job and I love who I am. I may not be perfect, but I can continue to work on myself and hope that one day someone will accept me for me. So, until that day when my faith in men is restored, I am sticking with The Golden Rule.

Missing You!

My mother left today to go visit my sister's family in Ohio and it has made me really miss them! I last saw them at Christmas and probably won't get to see them until the next one. I want to be out there to hang out with my sister and to play with my niece and nephew. Here are a few pictures of how adorable they are. We can share in the pain.

The Wedding Epidemic

I think there is something in the air besides the smog of traffic from the backed up I-15. There has been an explosion among my group of friends of wedding engagements. I have three receptions to go to in the next 2 weeks. I guess anything above one is an improvement over last year. So it seems that love is in the air. I have some suggestions for the recently or soon to be engaged, and any of those that may know the aforementioned:

• Strategically placed hands in the wedding photo to show off the ring never looks natural, it always looks awkward and silly.
• Receptions during the middle of a weekday ensure that most of your friends in the working class can't go. You might as well not have one. There is no rule saying you have to.
• I'm not one for painting my nails and all that girlie stuff, but realize that when you get engaged everyone is going to want to see the ring, so a manicure would not be out of order.
• If someone is kind enough to throw you a shower, don't then go and tell everyone that it is at a different location and that the theme that was previously chosen is no longer valid thereby negating everything that person had already put in place. *See below for explanation
  
• There is certain etiquette for bridal showers, this includes finding out who will be there and what kind of gifts are acceptable. (ie lingerie) Nothing is more embarrassing to the bride than opening up something kinky in front of her mother and/or soon to be mother-in-law. In some families it is acceptable, but know your audience first.
• If you live in a house with roommates and all of you know the happy couple, don't expect an invitation for each person. It's just going to go on the fridge with the 4 others you've received this month so don't complain, invitations can be expensive.

*The following story took place at a time when I was more timid and basically a push-over. Several years ago I was sharing this adorable downtown apartment with my best friend of just over 10 years. She had gotten engaged and as her friend I asked if I could throw her a shower, to which I was told that I could. Seeing as how this was my best friend and everything, I wanted to make it special so I handmade the invitations. They were black and white and resembled the slapper things that you see when viewing uncut footage of a movie, they had moving parts and everything. I made the invitations to reflect the theme "Movies" the idea being that if you're favorite movie was "Sleepless in Seattle" then you would bring bedding or something to that affect. I thought it was a cute idea. So after I had sent out all the invitations my friend came to me and said that she didn't like the idea and that she had already called everyone. Instead of having it at a quite picturesque location at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, my friend informed me that the shower would now take place at her aunts house. Oh, and the theme thing was out. I, being the ever accommodating person, smiled through the crushing pain and gave up control to the bride-to-be. There was some equally insulting and extremely disrespectful behavior on the part of this "friend" before she got married, ending with her threatening to sue me over the pettiest thing IN THE WORLD. This incident actually ended up being the catalyst for me to stop taking crap from people and stand up for myself. Needless to say, we are no longer friends. (And that's the edited short version!)

Fast Food Guilt

I have fast food guilt and unfortunately, more than one kind. The first and usually most convincing guilt I have is the fact that fast food is expensive. We as a society spend 6 dollars or more for a burger, fries and a drink when we could make it at home for less expense. If you eat out at least one meal a day then a conservative estimate would have you spending $168 dollars a month on fast food. Yikes! I know the rationalizations that I make such as, "it's just faster" or "I don't have time to shop for real food." are silly and usually irrational. On $168 dollars a month I could pay for all my meals. Not just one a day.

The second type and should be more pressing is the fast food guilt that results from how much excess food we eat. It is difficult to ignore the cashier who tells you that for only 25 cents more you can upgrade to a Biggie size! The penny pincher in you says that it is such a good deal that you shouldn't pass it up. However the next problem that arises is one that I blame on our parents.

As a product of the late 20th century, our habits come from what our parents taught us and they of course learned from what their parents instilled in them. If your grandparents are of the same generation that mine are, they remember WWII and also the Great Depression. Our grandparents remember when food was rationed and work was scarce and people were just scraping by. Because of this, they in turn instilled in their children (our parents) that everything we have could be taken away at any moment. The way they did this was by making every cent and scrap of food count. My Oma could make a can of tuna feed 50 by adding a supplement common in food storage known as TVP. I have no idea what this actually is composed of but I know my uncles weren't very fond of it. To this day my Oma continues to be extremely frugal with her money and probably has enough food to feed her children, grandchildren AND great-granchildren for at least a year and she lives by herself. This is a byproduct of her upbringing. In return our parents (or at the very least mine) told us that we must eat everything on our plates at meals because they are starving children in Africa (or more specifically Ethiopia, or some other 3rd world country) As a result America has become an obese nation and there are still starving children in Africa. (It really is a ridiculous notion that eating all of OUR food will somehow benefit the hungry or make us feel grateful for something we have never had to go without) Fast forward to now and because of my upbringing, I have a difficult time not finishing all my food when it is placed before me whether I am hungry or not. So to upgrade to Biggie size is not just a mere quarter but also adds up to a lot more empty, useless and ultimately unfulfilling calories. Luckily with the health craze more fast food establishments are offering alternatives to fries, like potatos and apple slices and such. You can also now get a pretty decent salad at most fast food places as well.

The purpose of telling you all of this is to report that my #1 concern (aka moola) is becoming more obsolete. With the economy what it is and everyone being in a panic about gas prices, Taco Bell has improved the dollar menu. I have not had a vehicle for at least two months now and no groceries, so when on the road for work I stop and get things at the evil, vile money sucking holes that serve fast food. Taco Bell now has some pretty hefty meal options for only 79 cents. The problem I have had with "dollar menus" is that usually the food is not substantial enough to make a difference anyway so you might as well spring for the full meal. NO MORE I tell you. I can now get a substantial meal for as little as $2.37! (plus tax). I may in fact be starting a new anonymous group, much like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I believe we shall be called GAFFA. Guilt About Fast Food Anonymous. I know it's lengthy and not really the same format, but until I can come up with something more clever that's what you get.

I'm thinking about pizza for dinner. That doesn't count, right?

Moab, the Adventure

I love the outdoors. It just doesn't get any better than white water river rafting with friends, or laying on grass under the sun with a cool breeze blowing. Luckily I spent the last weekend doing both of those things and more. I don't have much more to say other than I will share some of my favorite pictures from the weekend.