It All Comes Down To Faith

In the last few years I have had the opportunity to go through various stages of life. Single and living at home, single with roommates, single and living with family; but the recurring theme has always been single. My first romantic relationship started at the young age of 15 and continued pretty much until I was 22. After that amount of time there was obviously a lot of emotion involved and I didn't feel like I had true closure until this year. The end of that relationship was pretty tragic and shocking for me and definitely affected me adversely. My state of mind was not improved by the marriages of my best friend and sister within the same month, despite how happy I was for them.

I floundered for a couple of years, after deciding that the way I had been living previously hadn't done my marriage prospects any good, so I tried other things. Things that were basically not good for me which I eventually realized before I did something really stupid. Basically I had lost my faith in good things happening to me. It took me a while but I got to a healthier place. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief mine was to be blunt and brash. My honesty won me some friends but it could also be very off-putting. Mostly it came from being unsure of who I was and eventually it was that self-discovery that gave me the confidence to date again.

The great thing about finally knowing who I am is that it means I am more open to meeting people and also aware of what I want in a relationship. This also means that I know if someone rejects me it is not the end of the world. It just means that I am not what they are looking for in a mate. Part of that also means that I have faith. Faith that somewhere out there is someone that I am right for, someone who will accept me for who I already am, not some unrealistic idea. What gets me through the day despite an impending sense that time is passing too quickly and that my chances become fewer the older I get, is faith. Faith and hope in a divine plan that is beyond my understanding.