Compliment or Insult?

I was recently accused of channeling the behaviors of a friend of mine, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however, the intention I believe was to be a subtle insult. I was in the midst of a discussion about the complexities of dating and being the only female in the group the men were seeking my advice. There are several subjects about which I am passionate, when encouraged I will get on my soapbox and dating is one of those subjects. Now I partly blame the four men I was with because they are very good friends who really should know better than to get me started. In the past when the subject of dating has been approached I will admit that I have not been as vocal as I was on this occasion. I have been told by more than one of these men that while my advice is logical and should be helpful, it's not. Because apparently I am not a typical female. Yet they continue to seek me out for said advice. So here is how the comment went. "You are talking just like 'Bob'." The comment did stop me in my tracks especially because the follow up comment was something to the effect of how Bob was changing who I am. I find the implication insulting for more than one reason. One, I am almost positive that the speaker is jealous of the relationship (complex as it is) that I have with Bob. Two, I'm positive that the speaker didn't like what I was saying because it meant that he would have to step out of his comfort zone and stop whining. And three, I am proud of the person that I have become and take offense to anyone that knows me that well insinuating that I would change who I am to conform. I'm not saying that the people around me don't influence me at all, that would be ridiculous. We are the sum of our life's experiences and that includes the people that we associate with.

Has my personality been fundamentally changed because of Bob? No. But one thing that my friendship with Bob has resulted in is the personal realization that I should not be afraid to share the true me with the people I treasure most. I have known for quite some time that my personal viewpoints on a variety of subjects do not fit in with those of my family, most of my friends and the local culture to which I belong. Until this point I have been reluctant to speak up when confronted with an opinion that differs from mine because I have been afraid of how I will be perceived. I am striving to be proud and unafraid of what people will think of my differing views. To that friend I say thanks, I appreciate the compliment. :)