Rodeo Haven!

I went to my first rodeo yesterday. I have to admit that it was pretty fun! However, I dreaded the inevitable presence of country music. Growing up there were some rules in my house.

1. Almost never take dad's stories seriously. (Maraschino cherries are not in actuality a petroleum based product)


2. Saturday morning cartoons were to be turned off promptly at 10 a.m.


3. Eat everything on your plate no matter what. (still trying to break myself from that one)


4. Grapefruit knives are not for cutting grapes (I almost lost a finger before we made that one)


5. Country music and The Beatles are strictly verboten!

The last one is the most important. These rules were strictly enforced! In junior high we had one of those Aero-Star vans that had radio controls in the back seat. My dad was giving me and my friends a ride somewhere when my friend Hilary, knowing full well how my dad felt about country, changed the radio station to one of the country variety. My dad literally slammed on the brakes. He turned around and said, "see what happens? The car stops working when country music is played." Hilary never attempted that stunt again.

When my sister moved to Idaho to attend Ricks College (back then it still was) she of course started to take a liking to country music. In fact she had started a little before that but was covert about it until after she moved out. Not only did she start to like and encourage me to listen to country music, but she then went and married herself a genuine small town Idaho boy. I was shocked and appalled because at the time I was still under the impression that country music was Satan's tool and listening to it guaranteed a drop in my IQ and my immeadiate interest in guns and throwing hay.

My opinions were mostly based on what had been ingrained into me from a young age and it didn't help when the country that I did hear typically involved lyrics concerning trucks, trailers and hunting. As country has become more mainstream and I have had friends who listen, I have come to an important realization that will shock and disturb some of the people I know.

Country music is not as bad as I had been led to believe.

Hold up! I am not saying that I have reset my presets, or even that I seek it out. But if I take the time to get past my knee-jerk reaction to it, country music has some pretty rad lyrics and musical greatness. I still detest the songs with excessive twang and some of the artists accents drive me absolutely batty, but I don't go into convulsions or pass out when confronted by it. I did find at the rodeo that for some reason I kept slipping into a southern type accent. I don't know why and it was totally unconcious. Meh, maybe its a deeply surpressed desire to be a cowgirl.

You Know You're a Music Snob When.....

To go along with my previous post, I have assembled some signs that may help you determine if you are a music snob.

You know you are a music snob when.....

... you can't watch the ward chorister because it's just all wrong!
... someone asks you which version of Mozart's Requiem you have and it leads to an argument.
... you know how to correctly pronounce "in excelsis deo"
... you actually know what a schwa is.
... you have issues with "musicians" who don't notate their own music.
... you know that a diaphragm is more than just a prophylactic.
... you hear a buzzing noise and spend the next few minutes determining what pitch it is.
... when you say you are headed to a concert, you don't mean that you are heading to the nearest sports arena.
... people think you are a member of the University choir, because EVERYONE in the choir knows who you are, even though you have never been a member.
... you know what it means when someone directs you to the second stanza.
... you can sing a duet of the smurf song in tri-tones.
... you can see something written in IPA and actually understand it.
... you have more movie scores in your CD collection than movie soundtracks.
... your encyclopedia is not the standard one but the musicians set.
... you know that motet is not some kind of gang name.
... songs that end in unresolved sevenths drive you crazy!
... you inadvertently change the key to a song you are playing without noticing.

Songs That Must Go

"Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At the Disco is another recent release that has been played so often that no matter what radio station I switch the dial to I am bound to hear it. I like Panic! At the Disco and I actually have the album, but I cannot stand to listen to this song anymore!

"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. I actually had a sort of fondness for this song when it first came out, but again corporate radio has overplayed it death. It even bothers me when I hear it in upbeat mixes. Instead of "keep bleeding love" I would love it if this song would bleed itself dry already.

"Red, Red Wine" by UB40 This song drives me absolutely bonkers. I literally grind my teeth when I hear it. It makes me want to throw things. I have no explanation other than that. It should be called "Red, Red Whine"

"Jane Says" by Jane's Addiction My favorite radio station has a host that ALWAYS plays this song. I actually like Jane's Addiction but I cannot stand to hear this song because of how overplayed it is.

"Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground Besides the fact that I hate the words to this song, there is just something about the whiny lackadaisical melody that just puts me on edge.

"Laffy Taffy" by D4L The entire song consists of some idiot saying Laffy Taffy for 3 minutes and 44 seconds. It's maddeningly mundane and for some reason it was a big hit.

"How Do I Live" by Leann Rimes I already have issue with most country music but the fact that when she sings this it sounds like she is saying, "how do I leave without you" drives me absolutely insane. English is her first language but you wouldn't know it from listening to her. Diction, people!

"Amber" by 311 I happened to really enjoy 311 but this is another song I just cannot listen to.

Anything Aaron Neville sings. That man's vibrato is just unnatural! A natural vibrato does not fluctuate a step and a half.

A Word or Two.....

I have mentioned that in my effort to expand my social circle that I am a paying member of a couple of social networking sites. It is always hard to determine what you should say on your profile. What can you say about yourself that will attract people but also not give them a false anticipation of you? First impressions are after all the most important. That one contact determines whether someone passes you over or stops to find out more. I have skipped over seemingly attractive profiles because the wording makes the person sound egotistical or because they seem close-minded. I could be totally wrong about these people, but their profiles have done nothing to keep me intrigued. I have been conversing with a few people and have come to realize how important grammar is. I may not get my commas in the right place or know when to use whoever vs whomever, but I do know how to form a relatively complete sentence.

I received an email yesterday from someone who wanted to possibly chat. I was a little put off because there was absolutely no capitalization, attempt at proper spelling, or the coherence of a complete sentence. Communication is important in a healthy relationship and a first impression of incoherence is not advisable. I got the gist of it, that wasn't difficult, but it did not impress me. I realize that in the age of text messaging we have learned to reduce things to the bare minimum of letters, but this was an email, not a text message. I am not a genius nor an idiot but I am seeking someone that speaks intelligently. I enjoy conversing about the current economic conditions, politics and philosophy. I can however, also converse about action movies, rock music and cars. It worries me that technology while making some great strides in medicine and other fields of science, seems to be perpetuating the decline of intelligent communication. If anyone has seen the movie "Wall-E" I point you to the scene of the small children being taught the alphabet.

Technologically Dependent

There is no doubt that modern conveniences are both a boon and a bane. Thanks to advancing technology my parents can use GPS to get email updates on where my brother is driving their car and how fast. It also allows me to log into the server at my work from home. As far as disadvantages technology is helping us lose the human touch to interaction. Not to mention that we have become so accustomed to getting things quickly that our attention span and patience are greatly decreased. It still astounds me that I have one friend who does NOT have a cell phone. (He is extremely obstinate, cheap or a-social, haven't decided, maybe all three)

This last weekend was great because it was a long weekend but when I left work on Thursday I left my phone charger plugged in behind my desk. I don't currently have a working vehicle and so by mid-Saturday my phone was dying quick. It gave up on me completely around 4 p.m. and there was nothing I could do about it. It was very odd as I went out with friends that night not to be checking the time on my phone or to see if I had missed any calls or text messages. Added to this is the absence of my keys and purse which are residing with my car 150 miles away. I must admit that I felt a bit lost without something heavy weighing down my pockets. When I finally got to work on Monday and charged my phone I had all kinds of voice mails and text messages. I was a little ticked at myself because I had missed a call from a friend who is in Dubai.

Going without my phone nearly drove me insane. Not being able to be in contact with people was disorienting and frustrating. It's amazing to think how far technology has advanced just in my lifetime. I still remember the first CD player my parents ever bought. Does anyone remember laser discs? I still remember the first cell phone we owned. That giant grey brick with the 12 inch black antennae. Good times! My brother, who is only 17, can't even fathom the fact that a 17 year old with a cell phone used to be ridiculous! I have become so accustomed to instant gratification that it is no wonder that waiting in line for anything longer than 30 seconds irritates me. Conclusion: I am totally technologically dependent. Not that it makes me unhappy per se, just not as grateful as I probably should be until I am faced with the loss. Just like the old saying "You never know what you're missing until it's gone."

Concert Attendance Pet Peeves

I went to a concert Saturday night down in Provo and noticed some things that I would like to address. To start off, parking was an absolute disaster since every single parking lot near the club had signs that proclaimed that it was for their patrons only. 95% of those businesses were closed but seeing as how college towns seem to be patroled more, we had to find alternate parking. Which of course meant we had to walk a bit to get to our destination. First, you should know that it was an interesting crowd for several reasons. It was advertised as an all ages concert and it definitely was. The youngest person there was 7 years old and the oldest was probably in her early 60's at least. Also there were a lot of couples. I don't know if this is a Provo thing or just that this artist appeals to couples. (I don't know why, most of her songs are about jerky men and how tired she is and wants to get rid of them which is part of why I adore her songs. That and her use of the piano.) There also seemed to be a higher ratio of tall people than I am used to. Again, is this a Provo thing? Because if it's something in the water I would totally buy some of that. The result of all these tall people of course is that despite the 2 inch heels I was wearing I couldn't even see the stage which was pretty remarkable since the venue in question was not much bigger than my apartment. So my pet peeves for concerts come down to a few simple things. I will start with things that performers do to irritate me.

• When it is announced that the concert starts at 7:30 p.m. this does not mean that your opening act comes on at 8:15. That's why you have an opening act, so that you can continue to prepare or whatever it is that you do before a show.
  
• Know your audience. I realize that you do hundreds of shows a year but perhaps a little knowledge of your audience would be helpful. For instance, jokes about porn hair and the use of foul language are not going to go over very well in Provo.
  
• When your opening act is done, please don't make the audience wait 30 minutes before you come on. Especially when that crowd has been standing on their feet for 2 hours already because the venue has no seating at all.

Things that concert attendees do that irritate me, and not all of these relate to the concert I went to on Saturday.

• You may not have paid money specifically to see the opening act, but that doesn't mean you get to treat them badly. Everyone starts somewhere, give them a break. Don't stand in the front row and carry on a shouting conversation on your cell phone the entire time they are performing!
  
• In a standing room only venue, don't push! Crowding the people in front of you may get you a couple of inches closer to the stage, but it also creates more body heat in an area that is already pretty hot.
  
• In a standing room only venue, don't leave your place and then expect to get it back. You leave, you lose your spot. That's just the way it goes.
  
• When attending a choral or orchestral performance, DO NOT clap between movements. You don't clap between the verse and chorus of a popular song, this is the same.
  
• When attending any performance that has a conductor, you DO NOT clap until the conductor lowers his or her arms, it's just bad form and you ruin the flow.
  
• If you intend to leave a concert early, DO NOT choose the front row. It is inconsiderate to those who intend to stay the whole time and it's rude to your performer especially when they can see you leave. Even when you are leaving early to avoid traffic, it's still insulting.
  
• Do not mock people who actually know the music you are listening to. As long as they are not drowning out the performer(s), let them enjoy themselves, even if it means they are swaying back and forth and lip syncing. Let's face it, you just aren't as cool as them.
  
• DO NOT complain at the price the performer charges for their merchandise. It is discounted from what you would be charged at a media outlet! Particularly artists playing small venues because it usually indicates that they are just starting out. Give them a break, $5 for an eleven track CD is not bad.

Feel free to let me know if there are any important ones you feel I have missed, these are just the ones I can think of right now.