It All Comes Down To Faith

In the last few years I have had the opportunity to go through various stages of life. Single and living at home, single with roommates, single and living with family; but the recurring theme has always been single. My first romantic relationship started at the young age of 15 and continued pretty much until I was 22. After that amount of time there was obviously a lot of emotion involved and I didn't feel like I had true closure until this year. The end of that relationship was pretty tragic and shocking for me and definitely affected me adversely. My state of mind was not improved by the marriages of my best friend and sister within the same month, despite how happy I was for them.

I floundered for a couple of years, after deciding that the way I had been living previously hadn't done my marriage prospects any good, so I tried other things. Things that were basically not good for me which I eventually realized before I did something really stupid. Basically I had lost my faith in good things happening to me. It took me a while but I got to a healthier place. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief mine was to be blunt and brash. My honesty won me some friends but it could also be very off-putting. Mostly it came from being unsure of who I was and eventually it was that self-discovery that gave me the confidence to date again.

The great thing about finally knowing who I am is that it means I am more open to meeting people and also aware of what I want in a relationship. This also means that I know if someone rejects me it is not the end of the world. It just means that I am not what they are looking for in a mate. Part of that also means that I have faith. Faith that somewhere out there is someone that I am right for, someone who will accept me for who I already am, not some unrealistic idea. What gets me through the day despite an impending sense that time is passing too quickly and that my chances become fewer the older I get, is faith. Faith and hope in a divine plan that is beyond my understanding.

Happy Thoughts

Poor Communication & Etiquette

As previously mentioned I currently pay my bills by making sandwiches for people who pay for them. In this time I have made some interesting observations concerning human behavior. First is that people are rude. Second is that demographics are astonishingly telling. I work at two separate locations and the difference in how people treat me from one location to the other is dramatically different. Both are in affluent neighborhoods but the interesting thing is that the people at Location One are pretty friendly. They know some things about me and I usually know some things about them. At Location Two I am generally treated with disdain and have had assumptions made about my intelligence because of the job I do. Yes, I work for minimum wage but that doesn't make me stupid or not worth treating with respect.

At what point did it become okay to talk on your cell phone when ordering food? It is extremely rude and if I had my way I wouldn't serve you until you were done. I had someone come in last week and stand in front of the counter while on the phone and I continued to sweep and do some cleaning until he was done. When the phone call ended he was mad and asked if I was finally ready. I replied by telling him that I am always ready, just waiting for him. The most irritating part is when their sandwich is done or nearly so and they suddenly realize that something about their sandwich is not what they wanted. Usually this is because they were paying attention to something other than me and don't realize that what they told me and what they actually want are not the same thing. Inevitably they are put out and mad at me even though they were the ones not paying attention.

So my place of employ has what can be called membership cards. On these cards you can earn points that add up to free food. These cards can also double as gift cards so I don't always know which it is. I generally assume that if they hand me money and their card that the card is to add point onto and the money is to pay for their order. I can't tell you how many times that people have been upset with me because the card was actually a gift card and I use the money they gave me instead. Is it wrong for me to assume that if you hand me money at the register that it is to pay for your purchase?

Rant over, you may now continue with your day.

It's All About Perception

On this anniversary of significance it occurred to me that it is my perception of the events of ten years ago are pretty self-centered. What I mean by that is everything about it is based on my perception. I know where I was when I heard the news and how I felt. I remember how it affected my life as an adult, but it has never really occurred to me what effect it must have had on people who were teenagers or even younger at the time. My sister mentioned that she was in 9th grade and how everyone turned on the TV's in their classrooms to watch the story as it unfolded. I watched a documentary about one of the two photojournalists who was allowed at Ground Zero and how she tracked down some of the people she spent time with in the days and weeks she spent there. Link is: Portraits from Ground Zero. I would highly recommend it.

Cheers and Jeers

• Cheers to my landlord for taking care of our flooding problem so quickly

• Jeers to the guy who lives near my parents and whom uses his riding lawn mower on a lawn that would be much better served with a manual one. What a waste.
• Cheers to an anonymous benefactor.
• Jeers to assumptions that people make about others.
• Cheers for Diet Coke and chocolate, but not mixed together, that's gross.
• Jeers to adults who still act like children, mainly throwing tantrums when they don't get their way.
• Cheers for Hulu which keeps me entertained with old TV shows.
• Jeers to minimum wage that is not sufficient to pay bills.
• Cheers for the weather getting cooler.

Hug-o-war

"I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins." 

Shel Silverstein

Lungs?

Tell me this roast beef doesn't look like some kind of body part, specifically lungs.

"Boty Fat"

It's Labor Day and instead of laboring at the job I am not particularly fond of at the moment, I am spending it by laboring in my house. I am doing some cleaning and rearranging and came across this pictures that one of my students drew for me. It should be noted that people with autism are not typically known for their tact and in all reality this picture may not in fact be a reference to me, (though let's face it, it applies) it was just one of the reminders that sometimes the truest things come from the mouths of children.

The Idea vs. The Reality

I recently decided to end a relationship in my life and it was a decision that was probably overdue. I have often noted that the state of my bedroom is often a direct reflection of my mental state. In the the last few weeks my room has been an absolute disaster. I have had no desire to put things where they go or make any effort whatsoever to change the fact that I was literally tripping over things everyday, which often led to mild cursing. Since the end of said relationship I have cleaned my room and bathroom, kitchen, hallway and even managed to alphabetize the fridge magnets. And while the fridge thing was maybe a little extreme, it has helped me restore order to my mind and house.

The thing that was interesting was that ending the relationship was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. It sort of became a mutual parting and after I felt much better. Only now am I having a delayed reaction to the break-up. The seriously weird part is that I was reminded about how this person made me feel while I was at church which is a place he never went with me and was a major reason for our break-up. I realized that it is not so much HIM that I am missing, but the idea of him. It's the idea of someone who would send me text messages in the morning to ask how my day is going, or scare me during movie previews, or call me "Sweetie," that I miss the most.

I am not overjoyed that I now have to start over from scratch sometime in the (hopefully) near future with someone else. If anything I am comforted by the fact that the idea is still attainable. My faith and hope is still there and I actually have more confidence that someday eventually someone is going to love me for exactly who I am. All I can do is be the best version of me and trust that one day I will be someone's reality and not just their idea.

Stress in Visible Form

I am not vain about a lot of things. In general I am a firm believer that the essence of a person is not reflected in their outward appearance but in the depth of caring and compassion in their soul. I am however proud of the normally flawless nature of my skin. Up until my 30th birthday earlier this year I had only ever had two (yes, single digit two,) zits. Because this has never been a concern of mine, I have never really noticed when other people have a problem with them. Just as I never noticed how many people also drove Ford Rangers until I myself started driving one. The last few weeks have been rather stressful with events such as basement flooding, break-ups, car trouble, cutting of hours at work, re-establishment of hours at work, small paychecks, inability to start school as planned and etc. All of this has culminated in the explosion of my lower face into what can only be described as a painful field of zit suck. Sigh. I am trying to think happy thoughts, because at least I am confident in myself as a person not to care what other people think about it, as opposed to the possibility that as a teenager I would have taken to clothing myself in a burqa.

Flood Waters!

We still don't know how this happened, it had not even rained that hard!

My living room, we had to evacuate everything out of the basement.

The bathroom where water was pouring in, along with mud.

You can tell how deep the water got in the window well. We had to climb down and bail it out with buckets since it was pouring into the basement.

Epic Fail Bread Bake

Errors of Misdirection

I would consider myself a pretty skilled navigator. Before I learned to drive my dad used to get in the car with me and then tell me that I had to give him directions on where we were going. Even if it was somewhere we had been a hundred times he would make me give him directions to get there. As a result I can give pretty concise and accurate directions. This is not always helpful to people who don't know which direction is north or south. I took a trip this weekend with a friend and as the front passenger I was tasked with the navigation. There came a point however when it was obvious that we were lost. We had been given to different sets of instructions to our destination, neither or which were faulty. The problem that made us go 20 miles past our turnoff was a lack of signage. At no point were we aware that we had even passed through the town that contained our turnoff. In both directions there was no indication that the two houses and one country store even was considered a town. Luckily for us one of the directions had included which mile marker to look for and we were able to backtrack enough to find our way again. My friend who pointed out that in this particular instance I had led us all astray and maybe my sense of direction was not as great as I thought. The experience made me think of a couple of quotes:

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.
-- Dr. Seuss


I don't care whether you're driving a hybrid or an SUV. If you're headed for a cliff, you have to change direction.
-- Barack Obama



The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.
--Chanakya

The Romance Ruination

It is hard to know whether I have been more indoctrinated by chick flicks or the romances of those around me. I take a look at my reality and can't decide if I am being unrealistic about my expectations because I expect too much, or not enough. Does romance even exist in the traditional sense anymore? It has become increasingly more common for people to meet their mates online. I know someone who "met" his wife while playing an online shooter game. For the most part I consider myself a realist, I am aware that every relationship will have it's problems, every person their own faults. Thanks to movies and the relationships of friends, I keep wondering why I am not getting "just because" flowers from the men I go out with. Or I wonder why someone doesn't just show up at my house because he knew I had a bad day. The thing about it is that while I love flowers and surprise visits I don't want to have to tell someone what I want and/or need. I know it's ridiculous because no one knows what I am thinking but me, it would just be nice to know that someone is thinking of me without any prodding. A great example of a fabulous marital relationship is my parents but I think that they are perhaps the exception instead of the rule.

My current expectations come with an understanding that the older I get the more awkward dating has become. So many things about dating have changed. It used to be that there was a waiting period between when you went out with someone and when it was considered appropriate to call. Now you can text someone as soon as you leave with comments about your date. It was also considered a major faux pas to ask someone out by email or text, that should be done in person! Am I a fuddy duddy for wanting to build a relationship on actual time spent together instead of time communicating through an electronic device? Are we so insecure about ourselves that honest conversations can't happen in person anymore?

Ahh the movies. Where boy meets girl, something happens to tear them apart, all is forgiven and they live happily ever after. Can any woman really claim that a man has bought her 1,000 flowers, one for every moment he thought about her? I doubt it. I realize that I am coming across as a cynic and in the past I would have agreed. But now I come back to the original question. Do I expect too much or not enough? As I have been dating these last few months I have been of two minds. The realistic side of me accepts the fact that despite having been out with someone multiple times, I have never received flowers, words of undying devotion, sacrifices of time to spend with each other or blissfully long staring contests because that is not real. The other half of me wonders why when I have a spare hour effort is not made to spend it with me, or why I had to spell out in pretty specific terms that after so many dates it is expected that there should at least be some hand holding, or why even slightly encouraging words of affection are not expressed because that is just how romance works.

I guess that while I know that things that are worth it are worth working for, I have begun to wonder how much is too much work? Is it every just easy? Ever? I have a suspicion that the answer is probably an unequivocal no. And herein lies the rub. I have been indoctrinated/brainwashed for so many years that I can't even tell anymore which of my expectations are, in fact, my own or those that have been forced upon me.

The Beauty Inside

I had a discussion with my roommates recently about where we would like to be married. Two of my four roommates share the same faith as me and the three of us gave the location of several different temples. One roommate couldn't understand why one would be different from the other because as she said "they all look the same." And to her they do. As we got more into the discussion it became apparent that our reasons for choosing temples were basically the same, it was not the outside that made the difference to us but the inside. Not only the way things looked on the inside but also the experiences and feelings we had while being inside of these temples. If only all things in life could be like that.

A Long Trek Indeed

I spent most of yesterday in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. And before you say it, yes I realize that most of Wyoming is middle of nowhere. I drove out with my mom to the place where Mormon pioneers crossed the plains at a place called Sweetwater Crossing. My parent's stake was in the middle of doing their pioneer trek with the youth and my mother went to read some journal entries before they crossed the river.

Without going into all of it, the short of it is that four men who had come to help the pioneers cross this river in November when it was crusted with ice ended up carrying some 500 people across the river. There were three groups that I watched re-enact this scenario and each time it got a little more difficult for me to watch. I watched these teenage boys pick up grown men and women alike and delicately carry them across a river. I am so grateful for those brave pioneer women and men who gave up so much for a better life, free from persecution.

L-O-V-E

Have I mentioned how much I love the new stuff from Jon Schmidt? And these Piano Guys rock my world.

The Dating Inquisition

I will be the first to admit that my dating history has been interesting and kind of spotty. I have heard that I can be perceived as intimidating, which is frustrating since I often feel anything but. I have had a streak of "good luck," lately and of course this attracts attention from people who care for me. I have found myself sometimes irritated when people inquire how the personal life is going, partly because I don't even know myself, and also partly because I have never had to field these questions before. Since I am older than the societal norm for my area, and not married, there is naturally some curiosity about how I am going to fix that. I am usually pretty certain about things in my life as far as my personal relationships go and if I am not sure, then I find out. This time around as I have been doing my dating I have been trying to enjoy the process (is that possible?) This is not my favorite because it usually means I am holding back to avoid scaring the poor man to death. At this point in my life I am relatively certain of the things that I am looking for in a mate, I also am an open book. I am a pretty good communicator of my feelings and emotions. I am not afraid to share things with people but have discovered that sometimes mystery is not a bad thing. I just don't like not knowing how the other person is feeling.

For some reason I was under the horrible assumption that as I got older dating would get easier. Ummm, yeah, no. It turns out that I still end up feeling like an angst ridden teenager, just one with bills to pay and the frantic worry of watching my child-bearing years fly by.

Semi-Rant

It's time for a rant. As I have been spending a lot more time on the road lately due to the location of my job, I have the opportunity to see a lot of personalized license plates. Here is my problem, some of them suck. I can't tell what it is supposed to say and it aggravates me. Help me out here:

• CRPNCOP
• NU PH1
• VIVRE
• OL GUP
• RBRDFLS
• ORAYK

Ugh. I realize it's a silly little thing but it is extremely annoying when I follow someone for 20 miles and can't figure out their license plate.

Things I Won't Miss

There were so many good things about my job at the elementary school but here are a few that I won't miss:

Saying: "No tag on the playground equipment." EVERY recess, seriously.

Touching a door handle or wall and not knowing what I just put my hand in.

Parents who don't follow the parking lot rules and also let their kids ignore them.

Saying: "Walk please!"

Sixth grade students who always wanted to know what my boyfriend's name is/was.

Hormonal pre-teens

Clues

I would like to know what you can tell about me by looking at this picture of my desk. Please post comments! As a disclaimer I did absolutely nothing to it before taking the picture, everything is as it always is in my room.

Yes, I'm Short

I know that I am short. It's not something that has recently become apparent to me, it's just become more inconvenient. At my newish job making sandwiches, there are many topping options, this necessitates a counter that is three "cambros" deep. For the most part my height is not a hindrance when the topping containers are full. However when olives or spinach, which are at the back, get low I have to lean pretty far over and try not to lay on the sandwich in front of me. Then of course there are the cups and lids which are on shelves in the stockroom that are nowhere near where I can reach them. The guys that I work with kind of enjoy tormenting me, unless I bring my chocolate chocolate chip cookies. I am short, not that I mind. The only time I mind is when I stand with my siblings. I am the oldest AND the shortest. Genetics, what's not to love?

Age Is Not a Decider

I am now 30 and just admitting that is weird. It seems such a silly thing to cause re-evaluation, but going from 20's to 30's has helped me make some changes in my life. I have become more aware of my behavior, wondering if the reason people don't think I am 30 is because of my youthful complexion or something else. It's possible that my Fraggle Rock and Ghostbusters t-shirts don't make people look at me and think, mature adult. I am, I promise! (Try saying that in a whiny voice, it helps) I also get really excited about small things. But I don't think this is a sign of immaturity, which I think it is often perceived as. Part of my self discovery has been that I am just excited about life. I like quiet reflection while watching the clouds drift overhead, but I can get happy and giddy when people tell me something that they are excited about. It may make me seem young and naive, but I just have a passion for life. And now I am seeking someone who can either enjoy that part of me or share it, no matter how old.

The Cello Song

Summer Has Arrived

Now that the weather is starting to actually act like summer, I am remembering how much I love living in basements. I realized that even though I have lived in three different locations all of the places I have lived in the last five years have been below ground. I used to love the obvious difference between the main living spaces and my subterranean abode. It's interesting that I have such an intolerance for the summer heat of Utah considering the fact that I have lived here for all of my 30 years. Shouldn't the laws of nature have kicked in so that I could adapt to scorching weather? Things to ponder.

The Ups and Downs of Life

As I mentioned previously I have been making a lot of changes in my life and I have been really excited about them. Now that the novelty has faded I have to admit to a little discouragement. I started my new job as a "sandwich artist" and it is draining in a totally different way from teaching school. I think the thing I miss the most is making a difference in kids lives. I guess I am kind of making a difference in other people's lives by making their lunch.... (it should be noted that I am saying this facetiously) Since I haven't started my own schooling yet, I am having a difficult time with seeing past the now. I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it when I can work and go to school and perhaps see the degree at the end of the tunnel.

One thing that keeps me grounded and optimistic is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I was feeling kinda down yesterday and was really looking for something to get me out of this funk. That's why I love Sundays. It just seemed like everything I heard at church today was meant for me to hear. The lessons, the speakers, the comments people were making, it all made me feel like myself again. I also came across this quote today in my browsing:

"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever..." Baroness Karen Blixen

After the rain stopped this afternoon I drove to my parent's house for dinner and as I was driving on the freeway I couldn't help but look at the amazing mountains that surround the valley and how beautiful they were with the green trees and snow capped tops. I am so thankful that I am still able to look around at this place I have lived for 30 years and still see it's beauty. I am also thankful to a loving Heavenly Father who knows just what I need and despite my faults still helps me. Did I mention that I love Sundays?

Movie Frenzy!

Last year was kind of a blah year for movies but I am super excited for this year. I have already seen Thor, X-Men and Pirates. But still to come is Captain America, The Green Lantern, Harry Potter, Transformers, Fast Five, Super 8, Battle Los Angeles, and Cowboys & Aliens. Great summer for movies!!!

A Whole Lot of Furry Love

One of the best things about my new truck is that doggie rides are even more fun now!

A Season of Change

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. Anatole France

A lot of things have been happening which is why I haven't posted in a while. So here is a rundown of the last 45 or so days. I moved from my grandmothers basement to a townhouse with four other girls that I had never met before. I went from Primary chorister in a family ward, to joining a newly reorganized singles ward. I haven't had a car in over a year and just got a truck that is mine free and clear. As the end of the school year approached I was desperately looking for a summer job. My plan was to go back next school year and then do some online school in the fall. An opportunity presented itself Memorial Day weekend that changed everything. So instead of working another school year, I will be going to school full time and paying bills by making sandwiches. My personal life has also seen a lot of changes too.

It has all been a little overwhelming and the hardest part was probably saying goodbye to the great friends I have made among my co-workers at the school and to the kids. Some of those kids had been in my class for 3 years so there are a lot of memories. They are all good changes, its just a lot of adjustment. Here's to new beginnings!

Brilliance

Important Information is M s i g

There has been a recent outbreak of measles at some of the schools in my neighborhood so I was just doing some browsing on the subject. I was reading thing on the school districts website and also a couple of national news sources. However, I am a little irritated because this is what it said:

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Health officials in Utah are trying to contain a measles outbreak that may have infected hundreds of people who attended two recent community events.

Nine cases in the state have been linked to exposure to one unvaccinated person who contracted the disease in Poland, according to the Salt Lake Valley health department. Epidemiologists have determined that the infected person exposed as many as 1,000 people earlier this month.

Measles are so contagious that if one person has it, 90 percent of those near that individual will also become infected if they are not immune.

To keep the outbreak from spreading, state health officials are urging anyone who attended either event to contact the Utah Poison Control Center to determine if they were properly vaccinated against the measles virus. Those who attended the first event also are being asked to stay at home until April 29, and until May 1 if they attended the second event.

Read more: http://www.ctpost.com/news/article/Officials-Measles-outbreak-in-Utah-traced-to-1-1348868.php#ixzz1KajJAnxs

Nowhere in the article(s) that I have looked at has any mention been made of WHAT those two community events were! I am relatively sure that I am safe from the outbreak because first of all my parents were smart enough to have me vaccinated, and second of all I don't think I attended any community events that involved thousands of people lately. However, it might be useful information to know more specifics about the two community events!!

Yay! I'm 30.

Burnout

I have been feeling rather melancholy of late and have realized that it's just because a lot is happening right now. I am very good at taking care of the people around me and then forgetting about myself. I also have a horrible habit of not knowing when to say no. Recently I had a neighbor give me a book on boundaries that I am trying to read right now. I don't know what it says about me that someone who only sees me from afar on Sundays and for a 20 minute visit once a month knows/thinks that I need to prioritize. So much of my life lately seems to be working or attempting to please someone else. Balance is definitely needed.

I am taking an Institute class this semester and I have just had to stop wearing make-up on Tuesdays because I just end up crying in class. The teacher is amazing and it is the one place in my week that for 90 minutes I can relax and not worry about life. I don't have to explain in excruciating detail to my teacher why I am writing with a red pen or why the person next to me is wearing a turtleneck. I am me there and that is all I need to be. After a recent visit with a medical professional I have been vindicated because he says that I don't need to be worried about my health, I am just burned out. Unfortunately the thing that is making me burned out right now is not something I can change. I am just going to have to find different ways to cope.

A Girl Can Dream

Three words to be said: "I want this."

That is all.

Bucket List

As I approach my 30th birthday I have decided to make a bucket list. Here is what I have so far.

• Visit and enter 50 temples (Visual is not enough)
• Go on a cruise
• See "La Pieta" in person
• Visit Jerusalem
• Own a grand piano
• Learn to swim
• Fluently speak a foreign language
• Do volunteer work in a foreign country
• Read "Jesus the Christ"
• Own a house (preferably with a spouse)
• Have an herb garden
• Be debt free
• Pay cash for a car

Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat!

Same to You!!

I had forgotten how lovely it is to answer a business phone and have to wade through the boiler room scammers. I got a particuarly fun one this morning. A woman called and wanted to make sure she was sending me "the right copier catalog." I informed her that we owned our copier to which she replied, "Good for you!" in an uber sarcastic voice and then promptly hung up on me. Ha! My momma didn't raise no fool.

I was almost wishing for a more complicated call, the one where they ask for the owner. My dad has started a tradition, albeit messed up and amusing one, for getting rid of telemarketer scammers. Since my dad is listed as the owner of his company he gets a lot of people that call and want to talk to him. Once he gets on the phone and they start to spool out their crap, my dad informs them that he isn't really in charge, he is just a salesman. (Technically that is partially true as both my parents are equal partners and he does in fact do sales) When the telemarketer inquires about who makes the business decisions, he mentions that who they really want to talk to is Rastas Cloverleaf. When they ask when a good time to reach Rastas is, he states that Rastas only comes in occasionally for his mail. The person is therefore welcome to mail him something. Then comes the inevitable piece of mail addressed to Mr. Rastas Cloverleaf.

Since the charade has being going on for many a year, either my dad got bored or people were starting to not believe him so the story has been added upon. Rastas now has a brother named Rufus and they run the business together. A few years ago when I was answering phones and had a phone call like this I mentioned that Rastas was out of the country. The caller then inquired to where he had gone. I just couldn't help myself and proceeded to tell this guy that Rastas had gone back to Dubai to bring another one of his wives back to the states. He was of course astonished and asked me how many wives the guy had to which I replied that I wasn't really sure, but there were at least two that were already living here. That was the most fun I have ever had with a telemarketer. I feel slightly bad because I know they are just doing their job, but I thought it was pretty funny.

The fact that the woman this morning hung up on me does not offend me. In fact it kind of made my morning.

Beautiful and Bitterly Cold!

Only If it is an Even Numbered Tuesday

I am a foodie. I take great joy in eating and have to be very careful that I don't just eat because things taste good. I have been trying to train my brain to remember that this will not be the last time I will ever taste whatever it is I am eating and so it is okay to not finish everything in front of me. I blame part of this on being told as a child that I had to eat everything on my plate before I could get down from the table. I took everything literally and it just stuck. Like the time I buttered my dad's toast for him and he told me to make sure I got butter in all the corners and so I quite literally made sure that every millmeter of that toast had butter on it. From that day forward I have been diligent about toast buttering. I was an impressionable child apparently. So when someone asks me about my favorite restaurant or my favorite food, as a foodie this is a severly complicated question.

It all starts and ends with meat. As I often say, "A meal without meat just isn't complete." I categorize my favorites by what I will eat there and then by price. So as succinctly as possible here it is:

Burgers:
TGIF - Cheesy Bacon Cheeseburger with a side of Jack Daniel's sauce
Five Guys - Bacon Cheese with mushrooms, pickles, and tomatoes
Carl's Jr. - Western Bacon Cheeseburger

Chinese Food:
Asian Star - Tangerine Beef, Pork and Snow peas, Pon pon chicken
Dragon Diner - Mongolian Beef, Shrimp with Lobster sauce
New Flavor - Sesame Chicken
Chinese Gourmet
Panda Express - Walnut Shrimp, Orange chicken

Greek:
Mad Greek - Gyro with white sauce and tomatoes
Crown Burger - ditto

Japanese:
Simply Sushi
Oh Sushi

Thai:
Sawadee - Massaman curry
Curry in a Hurry - ditto

Mexican (sort of):
Cafe Rio - Pork quesdilla
Taco Bell - Chicken burrito
Molcasalsa - Horchata

Miscellaneous:
Wingers - Wings with Ranch dip
Papa Murphy's - Thin crust Chicken bacon artichoke
Red Lobster - seafood is delicious, cheese biscuits
Olive Garden - Steak Gorgonzola pasta

Ugh. I am making myself sick just thinking about all this food. So in response to someone's question about favorite food it will depend on what mood I am in. Unless it is an even numbered Tuesday and then the answer will always be roadkill.

Boils, Blankets and Burns

Let's face it some days or weeks are better than others and apparently I was due a bad one.

I will start off by admitting something that people are usually jealous of me for. I don't get zits. Never have and I don't even notice when other people do because it doesn't occur to me that it is a big deal. Right now however, it is a BIG deal. I have a gigantic "thing" on my chin. One of my students asked me what was wrong with my face and then proceeded to tell me (quite innocently) that he thought I may have a spider bite or a hornet sting, but either way there was something wrong with my face. (sigh) From the mouths of babes or autistic children. So not only am I appalled that this is happening to me just shy of the big 30, but my whole face hurts. This sucks big time! I have a whole newly found sympathy for people who have/will/do deal with acne. Ouch. It hurts to talk and eat. I am super self-conscious about it. I almost wish it was a boil so I could at least say it was something cool.

I also started off this week with a developing cold. I am prone to sinus infections and so of course that is how it has started. Gradually as the week as gone on it has progressed and right now I could sing bass in the MoTab. I'm exhausted. That kind where you feel like there is a weight on your chest and you just want to curl up in your blankets and sleep. Too bad life won't allow me that luxury.

I have a new favorite soup recipe that I got from a magazine and it doesn't take very long to make so before work one day I made some to take for lunch. When it came time to eat at work I heated it up too long and of course burned my tongue. So not only can I not smell a lot right now, I also can't taste anything due to scorched taste buds.

To top it off this week I was: bitten by a student, yelled at by a parent, scratched by another student, told I was having a bad hair day by a student, ruined the SD card for my phone, forgot a friend's birthday, guilt tripped by a co-worker, broke a pair of shoes, and lost my favorite ring.

Now that I have ranted, the week is over and it's time to move on. Pessimism won't help so I am banishing it into my ruined shoes and throwing it away.

Happy Birthday Opa!!

This is what we would call an "Opa sunset"

What Just Happened?

I have been stewing over a date I went on for over a week now. I thought it went pretty well until the end when he wasn't even going to get out of the car and walk me to the door. I might have offended him by basically ordering him to get out of the car. He did get out but only to stand by the car and watch me climb over some snow drifts to get to the door. The thing that frustrates me the most is I really thought it was going pretty good until then. And as a reference, I don't often feel like I qualify as "hot," but on our date I looked totally smokin'. Three days later I got a very succinct email saying that he just didn't feel a connection and wishing me luck. That's fine, I'm not going to try and change his mind. I am just left feeling confused because for almost 18 months now we have been emailing and texting on a somewhat infrequent basis. The last three months have seen an increase in our communication to a daily basis at which point I suggested that perhaps it was time to meet. Every attempt to meet before this had been canceled for one reason or another and I was determined that if we didn't meet this time I was going to give up on the possibility of a romantic relationship. How well can you really know someone that you have never seen? I thought perhaps it was well enough that even if things didn't work out we could still be friends, but apparently not. The email I got was pretty clear that there would never be any further contact. A part of me wants to respond back and tell him that he is missing out on a great thing because I am awesome. That is the slightly angry part. The other part of me just wants to know why. Is it because I drank 4 glasses of Diet Coke at dinner? Is it because I ordered my burger without lettuce? Obviously asking myself these questions don't help. And do I really want to know the answer? I guess I am just perplexed because for some reason, even though our correspondence was somewhat spotty, I couldn't stop thinking about this guy. I thought it was a sign or fate trying to tell me that I had a future with him in it. I know it sounds silly and most of it was probably because I have not had any prospects lately and having this one gave me some hope. This latest experience isn't going to make me give up. Sure this didn't turn out how I expected, but I know that someday I will meet someone. I hope that day is sooner rather than later, but if it isn't I will just continue to remember that eventually my time will come. I just may have to remind myself more often than I would like.

Allstate TV Ad: Tree Branch Mayhem

I cannot begin to explain how much I love these commercials!

To Be Right or To Not Be?

The most aggravating conversations or arguments are usually those that are based on something that is a matter of opinion or faith. You could spend hours debating whether or not there is a God or when life "begins." Ultimately neither is an argument that anyone will likely win in this lifetime.

Before I explain the next part let me explain that like most people, I don't enjoy being wrong and try to avoid it, but I will admit when the fault in logic is mine. I am in no way saying that I am a perfect being, ask anyone who knows me and they will confirm my long list of faults.

The last couple of years I have been foolishly engaged in another kind of aggravating conversation, the one where there is a clear correct or incorrect answer or it simply has no bearing at all. However, the opponent through ignorance, obstinacy, or delusion, refuses to concede. The most annoying thing about this is that the subject matter is usually something with no relevance to important things in life. Once it was which container may be used to water plants. In the end does it really matter? I doubt you will see greenery protesting because I used a large pitcher instead of a small one. I like the big one because I don't have to fill it as often and I get done faster.

For some reason I continue to try to reason with my opponent in a rational manner, even though as I do it I know my opponent is not rational. I have had the most meaningless arguments. A few of my favorites:

• English toffee does not taste the same if the almonds are on the bottom rather than the top of the toffee. (I suggested just turning it over if it would make them feel better)
• Drinking any sort of beverage in the car is strictly verboten because it is against the law. I am even talking about water here. (I asked why there where cup holders and never got an answer)
• Laundry must be watched. Soap does NOT go in until all the water is in so you can determine the exact amount of detergent. (I just put some in and turn the thing on my clothes have always gotten clean)
• If something is on sale you must buy it, because who knows when it will be again. (I disagree because I don't see the point in buying cream of chicken soup when you already have 42 cans, some dating back to the early 1990's)
• Bathroom tile is to be covered in wall-to-wall carpet because it is easier to clean. (Really?)
• Married people should not be associating with people other than their family and spouses, EVER. (I have some married friends that I spend time with occasionally and this always seems to be scandalous.)
• A hotel does not exist if someone has never heard of it. (This was one of the more ridiculous as it is not difficult to prove that a hotel exists.)

I admit that even though I know it is useless to engage in these conversations I still find myself trying to defend a decision that with anyone else would not have been questioned. I think that I keep hoping that one day, just maybe, rationality will strike like lightning and save me from discussing ad nauseam how best to open a box of cereal. A girl can dream, right?