Things That Mus Go - Office Edition

The title says it all, this is my list of things that MUST go (but probably won't)

• The mysterious person that turns off the A/C. It's hot everywhere else in the building, if you're cold put a sweater on. It's sad when the temperature upstairs and in the gigantic warehouse is lower than the downstairs offices.
• My computer not working right unless someone from IT is standing there watching me, at which point I can't show them what's wrong.
• The software on my computer that only works sometimes because it was written years ago before Windows XP, 7 and Vista, by someone who doesn't work there anymore. 
• The person who sorts the mail and keeps giving me the mail for the people who work in the building across the street. Still the same company but the name and departments are light years apart.
• Snot rockets. My office is near the bathrooms and with our recent remodel and removal of the carpet in the hallway, sound carries more clearly. At least three times a day someone is in the men's room blowing snot rockets. It echoes, everyone can hear you. Ewww.
• The missing table from the lunchroom. A few weeks ago someone took a table and used it somewhere else, now it's missing. It makes for a cramped lunch hour.
• The unknown person that's stealing my ice. My work doesn't have ice, I bring my own 5 lbs bag. There are certain people I have given permission to use it. It's not expensive. However, the person who keeps tearing open the bag instead of untying it meaning that it doesn't get closed tight and thus the ice ends up tasting of the other things in the freezer. See next item.
• The people who keep bringing whole sides of beef to put in the freezer at work. Really? Were you planning on having a BBQ party after everyone else goes home? Because your side of beef has been there for over a month and it's starting to smell.
• The busybody who is keeping track of my phone calls. Guess what? Just because someone doesn't know my extension, doesn't make it a personal call. Tattling just makes you look stupid, especially when you're wrong.
• The magazines on the tables in the lobby. For some reason there are 15 issues of People and 1 paper that is local to the suburb we are located in. People magazine is for doctor's offices, not the lobby of a business, unless you print the magazine or take the photos of the people inside.