We as girls do funny things when it comes to romance. We plan everything out to the littlest detail. How our future husband will propose, what our dress will look like, what color your children's eyes will be, etc. A great deal of these things are of course either impossible or improbable. If we went off the imagination of a younger me, I would marry my high school sweetheart (if I had one), live in a cabin in the woods and compose music at my grand piano while our children went to school and my husband worked in the church office building. Not totally far-fetched but probably too optimistic.
Sometimes we bring an element of fantasy to dating and life and think that once we reach a certain goal, like marriage, then everything will be different. I like to call this the "Happily Ever After Syndrome." While I admire the optimism people who view things like this have, let's face it, that is not reality. There is a line from something that says "Happily ever afters are just stories that aren't done yet." I used to have a fantasy that this one guy I was totally in love with would wake up one morning, realize that his model perfect wife was not the one for him and divorce her only to then seek me out because we were "meant to be." My fantasy was fueled by a lack of closure to the on-again/off-again relationship I had had with this guy for a number of years. Eventually that faded as I realized how improbable that was and I recovered enough to move on.
Dreams are great and can boost your spirit, but sometimes they help you cling to the impossible. Clinging to the impossible doesn't help us move on and is probably not healthy for an extended length of time. Hopefully it helps us learn to accept reality and perhaps realize that life is almost never going take the path that we think. I know that I am not where I expected to be at this point in my life, but I really am okay with that. I have faith that good things still await me, I just have to be patient and cherish this time I have to work on the things that will make me a better person to be around as a friend, future mother and wife.
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